tihvavy  of t:he  t:heological  Seminary 

PRINCETON    .    NEW  JERSEY 
PRESENTED  BY 


A.    G.    Cameron,    Ph.D. 
5.18.11 


^-7,—-^     /  t^\ 


No.  LXR. 


/ 

HOW  TO  BRING  UP  CHILDREN. 


I  WAS  dining  at  the  house  of  a  friend.  The  conversation 
turned  upon  the  rehgious  education  of  children.  Some  things 
said  were  so  profound  or  rhetorical,  that  I  have  forgotten 
them.  My  host  was  a  plain  man,  who  preferred  the  practical 
to  the  poetical.  He  said  :  "  A  good  religious  education  is 
rare.  The  whole  subject  is  difficult.  Yet  our  duty  in  the 
matter  may  be  stated  in  few  words :  teach  icell,  rule  tcell, 
live  well,  pray  well.''''  At  first  silence,  then  a  few  words  of 
assent  followed.  The  company  separated  to  meet  no  more 
on  earth.  Some  may  have  forgotten  the  occasion,  and  all 
that  was  said.  But  I  have  thought  much  of  the  eight  mono- 
syllables. I  think  my  friend  was  right.  I  take  his  words 
for  a  guide. 

I.  Teach  well.  In  teaching  the  matter  and  manner 
both  claim  attention.  He,  who  takes  heed  what  but  not 
how  he  leaches,  or  hoiv  but  not  wiuit  he  teaches  does  at  the 
most  but  half  his  duty.  Teach  truth  and  not  its  semblance, 
fiction.  Teach  truth  and  not  its  opposite,  error.  Teach  the 
truths  God  has  taught  you.  Teach  the  whole  word  of  God. 
The  law  is  holy,  just,  and  good.  The  promises  are  many, 
sweet,  and  faithful.  The  doctrines  are  true,  sublime,  and 
purifying.  The  threatcnings  are  wise,  righteous,  and  terrible. 
The  examples  are  striking,  various,  and  instructive.  The 
encouragements  are  great,  necessary,  and  seasonable.  The 
invitations  are  kind,  sincere,  and  persuasive.  Omit  nothing, 
abate  nothing,  add  nothing.  God's  word  is  perfect.  He, 
who  made  the  Bible,  made  the  mind  of  your  child,  and  knew 
perfectly  what  would  be  best  for  it. 

Teach  things  in  the  proportion,  in  which  God  has  taught 
them.  If  God  is  just  and  holy,  he  is  also  good  and  merciful. 
If  he  forgives  iniquit}'-,  transgression,  and  sin,  he  will  also  by 
no  means  clear  the  guilty.  If  his  wrath  is  dreadful,  his  love 
is  infinite.     If  he  is  a  Saviour,  he  is  also  a  Judge.     If  he  is 


2  HOW    TO    BRING    UP    CIIILDRErT. 

a  Sovereign,  he  is  also  a  Father,     If  he  pardons,  it  is  no* 
because  sin  is  not  infinitely  hateful  to  him. 

Give  clear  ideas  of  the  covenant  of  works,  and  the  cove- 
nant  of  grace.  Show  how  thoy  differ.  Never  confound 
works  and  grace.  Let  Mount  Sinai  and  Mount  Calvary  be 
set  over  against  each  other,  Sinai  without  Calvary  will  fill 
the  mind  with  terrors.  Calvary  without  Sinai  will  breed 
contempt  of  mercy.  The  angels,  who  never  sinned,  are 
accepted  for  their  works,  "  Do  and  live,"  is  a  law  that 
suits  them  well.  But  eternal  justice  will  smite  to  death  the 
sinner  who  seeks  acceptance  by  his  own  merits.  He  is  a 
thief  and  a  robber.  "  IBy  the  deeds  of  the  law  shall  no  flesh 
be  justified," 

Give  to  the  person,  teaching,  miracles,  sufferings,  death, 
resurrection,  offices,  and  glory,  of  Christ  the  place  assigned 
them  in  Scripture,  He  is  our  wisdom,  righteousness,  sancti- 
fication,  redemption,  light,  life,  prophet,  priest,  king,  shep- 
herd, surety,  sacrifice,  advocate.  We  are  complete  in  him. 
He  is  all,  and  in  all.  He  is  Alpha  and  Omega,  the  first,  and 
the  last. 

Draw  from  the  Bible  the  duties  you  inculcate,  and  the 
motives  you  urge.  If  you  would  repress  self-will,  stubborn- 
ness, immodesty,  impatience,  idleness,  pride,  deceit,  selfish- 
ness, bigotry,  cruelty,  profaneness,  or  any  vice,  show  that 
God  forbids  it.  Always  take  sides  with  God  against  the  sins 
and  vices  of  even  your  own  child.  Explain  the  nature  and 
urge  the  necessity  of  submission,  patience,  industry,  humility, 
sobriety,  moderation,  truth,  candour,  honesty,  justice,  kind- 
ness, charity,  faith,  hope,  repentance,  fidelity,  benevolence, 
"espect  for  superiors,  and  reverence  for  God's  name,  word, 
Sabbath,  worship,  and  ordinances.  Take  not  the  duty  from 
the  Bible,  and  the  motives  from  Chesterfield,  Rochefuicault, 
Seneca,  or  Plato.  Present  scriptural  motives  to  an  upright 
and  virtuous  life. 

Think  not  to  be  wise  above  what  is  written :  but  try  to  be 
wise,  and  to  make  your  children  wise  up  to  what  is  written. 
"All  Scripture  is  given  by  inspiration  of  God,  and  is  profit- 
able." Mix  it  not  up  with  dreams  and  fancies,  and  loose 
opinions.     "  What  is  the  chaff  to  the  wheat." 

In  teaching,  great  diligence  is  essential.  So  says  God  : 
"These  words  which  I  command  thee  this  day,  shall  be  in 
thine  heart;  and  thou  shalt  teach  them  diligently  unto  thy 
children,  and  shalt  talk  of  them,  when  thou  sittest  in  thine 


HOW    TO    BKIT*G    UP    CHILDREN.  6 

house,  and  when  thou  walkest  by  the  way,  and  when  thou 
liest  down,  and  when  thou  risest  up.  And  thou  shalt  bind 
tnem  for  a  sign  upon  thy  hand,  and  they  shall  be  as  front- 
lets between  thine  eyes.  And  thou  shalt  write  thenn  upon 
the  posts  of  thy  house,  and  on  thy  gates,"  Deut.  vi.  6-9. 
"  Be  instant  in  season,  out  of  season."  The  holy  Sabbath, 
sickness  or  death  in  your  family  or  neighbourhood,  a  narrow 
escape  from  some  great  evil,  a  time  of  drought  or  of  plenty, 
any  event  that  excites  notice,  even  the  common  incidents  of 
life,  furnish  fit  occasions  for  dropping  the  precious  seeds  of 
truth  in  the  heart.  Occasional  remarks  are  no  less  impres- 
sive than  stated  instructions.  They  are  often  more  pithy, 
and  more  easily  remembered. 

Take  not  too  much  for  granted.  Children  are  feeble  and 
heedless.  A  little  at  a  time,  and  often  repeated,  is  the  great 
secret  of  successful  teaching.  "  Line  upon  line,  line  upon 
line,  precept  upon  precept,  precept  upon  precept,"  is  the 
scriptural  method.  Though  you  may  have  taught  a  lesson 
twenty  times,  it  is  not  certain  that  it  has  been  perfectly 
learned. 

Avail  yourself  of  the  love  of  narrative,  so  common  in 
children.  God  has  revealed  much  of  his  will  in  this  way. 
The  stories  and  parables  of  Scripture  are  not  only  admirable 
for  their  plainness  and  simplicity,  but  they  enforce  truth  with 
unsurpassed  power.  Almost  every  principle  of  religion  and 
morals  is  thus  illustrated  and  enforced  in  the  word  of  God. 

A  good  teacher  must  be  gentle  and  patient.  It  is  hardly 
worse  not  to  speak  divine  truth  at  all,  than  not  to  speak  it  in 
love.  Teach  the  same  lesson  a  hundredth  time.  Upbraid 
not  a  child  for  its  dulness.  Be  like  Jesus,  who  said :  "Learn 
of  me,  for  I  am  meek  and  lowly."  Terror  produces  agitation, 
and  thus  precludes  the  power  of  learning.  Nor  can  any 
thing  be  more  undesirable  than  to  have  religious  instruction 
associated  in  the  mind  of  a  child  with  moroseness  and  harsh- 
ness. The  human  heart  is  sufliciently  opposed  to  the  truth 
of  God  without  our  strengthening  it  by  roughness  or  severity. 

Do  not  be  easily  discouraged.  Persevere.  He  has  seen 
but  little  of  mankind,  who  has  not  witnessed  the  sad  failures 
of  the  precocious,  and  the  final  success  of  the  slow.  '•  Long 
patience"  is  even  more  essential  to  the  teacher  than  to  the 
nusbandman. 

Enter  with  spirit  and  zeal  on  the  work  of  instruction.  Put 
olT  all  languor  and  sloth.     "  Whatsoever  thy  hand  findeth  to 


4  now    TO    BRING    UP    CHILDREN. 

do,  do  it  with  thy  might."     A  hfcless  formalism  is  as  truly 
mischievous  at  the  fireside  as  in  the  pulpit. 

To  your  own  efforts  add  those  of  well-selected  pious 
teachers,  both  during  the  week  and  on  the  Sabbath.  Every 
school,  even  every  Sabbath  school  is  not  well  taught.  Exer- 
cise your  best  judgment  in  the  choice  of  teachers. 

Know  what  books  your  children  read.  The  world  is 
deluged  with  books,  which  abound  in  error.  Guard  the 
minds  of  your  children  against  a  fondness  for  novel-reading. 
It  has  ruined  thousands. 

II.  Rule  well.  The  elements  of  good  family  govern- 
ment are  strength,  justice,  discrimination,  uniformity,  and 
love.  Act  not  the  tyrant,  yet  be  master  or  mistress  of  your 
own  house.  In  your  superior  years,  place,  experience,  and 
vigoui",  God  has  given  you  all  that  is  necessary  for  making 
your  government  strong.  Let  it  be  a  government,  and  not 
mere  counsel.  But  let  its  provisions  and  administration  be 
just,  A  child  can  feel  injustice  as  soon  and  as  keenly  as  a 
man.  Impose  no  impossible  tasks.  Take  into  account  all 
the  weaknesses  of  childhood.  In  governing  your  children 
make  a  difference,  not  from  partiality,  but  from  a  proper 
estimate  of  their  various  capa<jities,  years,  dispositions,  and 
temptations.  The  varieties  of  character  even  in  the  same 
family  are  often  surprising.  Yet  be  uniform.  Be  not  lax 
to-day  and  rigid  to-morrow.  Have  settled  principles,  and  let 
your  children  know  them.  Yet  beware  of  making  too  many 
laws.  They  will  not  only  ensnare  your  children,  but  destroy 
your  government.  Children  may  be  governed  too  much. 
Do  not  expect  perfection.  In  all  you  do,  be  guided  by 
enlightened  and  pure  affection.  Never  chide,  nor  correct  in 
passion.  If  you  cannot  rule  your  own  spirit,  you  may  break 
the  spirit  of  your  child,  but  you  cannot  establish  a  whole- 
some government  over  him. 

That  we  are  bound  to  use  authority  is  manifest  from  many 
parts  of  Scripture.  Of  Abraham  God  says:  "I  know  him 
that  he  will  command  his  children  and  his  household  after  him, 
-md  they  shall  keep  the  way  of  the  Lord,  to  do  justice  and 
judgment."  Behold  the  dreadful  end  of  the  sons  of  Eli,  and 
be  warned.  He  was  a  good  man,  hated  sin  even  in  his  own 
children,  and  reproved  it,  saying:  "  It  is  no  good  thing  I  hear 
of  you,  my  sons,"  But  he  used  not  authority,  as  their  lather 
and  as  the  high-priest,  to  require  reformation.  Follow  not 
Bo  dangerous  an  example. 


.HOW   TO    BRING    UP    CHILDREN.  O 

With  reproof  God  has  united  the  rod.  When  it  is  neces- 
sary, use  it.  It  commonly  is  necessary  in  cases  of  wilful  and 
deliberate  disobedience.  "  Foolishness  is  bound  up  in  the 
heart  of  a  child,  but  the  rod  of  correction  shall  drive  it  far 
from  him."  Never  use  the  rod  to  gratify  a  feeling  of  anger, 
nor  without  being  sure  that  it  is  deserved.  I  have  some 
where  read  the  following  story,  which  well  illustrates  the 
matter.  Two  stages,  belonging  to  opposition  lines,  left  the 
same  place  at  the  same  hour  every  day  for  London.  Both 
drivers  had  orders  to  make  the  distance  in  the  shortest  time 
possible.  One  driver  mounted  the  box,  with  whip  in  hand, 
excited,  spoke  angrily  to  his  horses,  and  alternately  relaxed 
and  jerked  the  reins,  at  the  same  time  using  his  whip  freely. 
In  a  few  miles  his  horses  gave  signs  of  distress,  and  before 
he  reached  London  some  of  his  team  was  usually  brokei? 
down.  The  other  driver  coolly  took  his  seat,  spoke  gently 
to  his  horses,  held  a  steady  rein  all  the  time,  and  seldon. 
even  cracked  his  whip.  He  was  often  hindmost  for  a  few 
miles,  but  while  the  horses  of  the  other  team  were  in  a  foam 
hardly  a  hair  of  his  horses  was  moist.  The  last  few  miles, 
his  team  not  being  jaded,  he  took  the  lead,  and  seldom  even 
distressed  a  horse.  The  I'eason  of  the  difference  was,  not 
that  one  driver  had  a  better  team  than  the  other,  but  one  was 
a  better  driver  than  the  other.  One  held  a  steady  rein,  and 
never  used  the  whip  unless  it  was  necessary.  The  other 
constantly  used  the  whip,  fretted  his  team,  and  wasted  both 
their  spirit  and  strength. 

Who  has  not  seen  this  precise  difference  in  the  govern- 
ment of  families  ?  The  first  driver  would  have  done  as  well, 
perhaps  better,  without  a  whip.  And  many  a  family  would 
not  have  been  in  a  worse  state,  if  a  rod  had  never  been  in  it. 
Family  government  is  always  a  failure  when  it  does  not 
secure  prompt  obedience  and  sincere  affection  from  the  child 
to  the  parent. 

Parents  should  be  agreed  in  the  government  of  their 
children.  If  they  do  not  support  each  other's  authority,  it 
must  fall.  A  divided  house  cannot  stand.  Nor  should  they 
oermit  grand-parents,  aunts,  or  any  person  whatever  to 
weaken  their  authority. 

III.  Live  well.  Set  a  good  example  in  all  things 
"  Tinder  is  not  more  apt  to  take  fire,  nor  wax  the  impression 
of  the  seal,  than  the  young  are  to  follow  example."  If  your 
child  may  in  his  heart  say:  "  Physician,  heal  thyself,"  your 


6  HOW   TO    BRING    UP    CHILDREN. 

influence  for  good  in  that  matter  is  at  an  end,  at  least  unti 
you  refoi'iT).  He,  who  delivers  good  precepts,  sows  gom' 
seed.  He,  who  adds  good  example,  ploughs  in  mat  seed. 
Children  are  the  most  imitative  creatures  in  the  world.  The 
dilierent  species  of  ape  excite  the  laughter  of  fools  by  their 
powers  of  mimickry,  but  children  excite  the  admiration  of 
wise  men  by  their  powers  of  imitation.  Quintilian  rightly 
says  that  nurses  should  not  have  a  bad  accent.  The  reason 
is  that  children  will  soon  acquire  it.  And  Dr.  Watts  well 
says,  "it  is  far  less  difficult  to  learn  than  to  unlearn."  In 
his  Ode  to  the  Romans,  Horace  says :  "  Brave  men  are  made 
by  brave  men."  Nor  is  there  any  other  way  of  making 
men  brave.  Precept,  eloquence,  and  poetry  cannot  do  it. 
Cowards  breed  cowards.  The  same  is  true  of  all  the  virtues 
and  vices. 

The  power  of  good  examples  above  bare  precepts  is  three- 
fold; first,  they  most  clearly  show  what  the  duty  is;  then, 
they  prove  that  it  is  practicable;  and  lastly,  they  awaken  a 
more  lively  desire  to  perform  it,  by  arousing  the  imitative 
principle  of  our  nature.  I  have  known  two  men,  by  precept 
and  authority,  without  example,  to  try  to  restrain  their  sons  from 
intemperance  and  profanity.  They  both  failed.  I  have 
known  many  a  parent,  whose  precepts  were  k\v,  and  whose 
use  of  the  rod  was  sparing,  to  raise  a  family  to  virtue  and 
honour  chiefly  by  a  blameless  example.  It  is  as  true  of 
parents  as  of  preachers,  that  a  bad  example  will  destroy  the 
good  that  might  be  expected  from  sound  instruction.  "Do 
as  I  say,  and  not  as  I  do,"  is  a  sentence  that  converts  the 
best  teaching  into  poison,  and  dreadfully  hardens  the  heart. 
Precepts  give  the  theory,  but  example  instils  principle. 
Words  impart  notions,  but  example  carries  conviction.  One 
plain  man  of  blameless  life  and  good  sense,  will  more  enforce 
the  obligations  of  true  piety  than  a  hundred  orators  of  godless 
lives.  A  heathen  once  "ave  as  a  reason  for  his  guarded 
behaviour  in  the  presence  of  the  young,  "I  reverence  a 
child."  If  you  deceive  your  child,  break  your  promises  to 
him,  or  practise  any  sin  before  him,  you  cannot  lail  to  teach 
him  to  do  the  same. 

IV.  Pray  welj..  "  Pray  always  with  all  prayer  and  sup- 
plication in  the  Spirit,  watching  thereunto  with  all  persever- 
ance." "  Pray  without  ceasing."  Pray  in  the  house  of 
God,  in  your  family,  in  your  closet,  in  your  daily  walks. 
A.sk  others  t)  pray  for  you  and  your  children.     This  should 


HOW    TO    BRING    UP    CHILDREN.  7 

not  be  a  mere  formal,  but  an  earnest  request.  You  need 
special  wisdom  and  grace  to  preserve  you  from  error,  and  sin, 
and  folly.  The  heart  of  your  child  is  corrupt,  and  all  your 
culture  will  be  lost  without  God's  blessing.  You  cannot 
change  the  heart,  renew  the  will,  or  wash  away  the  sins  of 
your  child.  God  alone  can  impart  to  him  a  love  of  the  truth, 
or  give  him  repentance.  You  may  use  your  best  endeavours, 
but  all  will  be  in  vain  without  God's  Spirit.  Sails  are  neces- 
sary, but  a  thousand  yards  of  canvass  will  not  carry  forward 
a  vessel,  unless  the  wind  blows. 

Be  fervent  in  your  supplications.  Monica,  the  mother  of 
Augustine,  said  she  "  had  greater  travail  and  pain  that  her 
son  might  be  born  again,  than  that  he  might  be  born."  God 
answered  her  prayers,  and  that  too  at  a  time  when  he  seemed 
to  be  utterly  lost.  John  Newton  tells  of  a  mother  of  eleven 
pious  children,  who,  being  asked  how  she  came  to  be  so 
much  blessed,  said,  "  I  never  took  one  of  them  into  my  arms 
to  give  it  nourishment,  that  I  did  not  pray  that  I  might  never 
nurse  a  child  for  the  devil."  "  Elijah's  prayer  brought  down 
fire  from  heaven,  because,  being  fervent,  it  carried  fire  up  to 
heaven."  It  is  as  true  now  as  in  any  former  age  of  the 
world,  that  "  the  effectual  fervent  prayer  of  a  righteous  man 
availeth  much."  Never  despair  of  the  salvation  of  a  child. 
While  there  is  life,  there  is  hope.  Wrestle  with  God  like 
Jacob,  and  you  shall  prevail  like  Israel.  Never  by  unbelief 
deliver  over  a  child  to  sin,  and  to  the  wrath  of  God.  Pray 
on.     Hope  on. 

Conclusion. — For  your  encouragement  take  the  promises 
of  the  covenant  of  peace:  "I  will  be  a  God  to  thee  and  to 
thy  seed  after  thee."  "The  promise  is  to  you  and  to  your 
children."  "Suffer  little  children  to  come  unto  me,  and  for- 
bid tliem  not,  for  of  such  is  the  kingdom  of  God."  "Train 
up  a  child  in  the  way  he  should  go,  and  when  he  is  old  he 
will  not  depart  from  it."  More  precious  promises  could  not 
be  made.  Believe  them.  Plead  them  before  God.  Richard 
Baxter  has  said,  that  if  pious  education,  family  worship, 
parental  instruction,  and  a  holy  example  were  properly 
regarded  by  parents,  even  the  preacMng  of  the  gospel  would 
not  be  the  most  common  means  of  conversion.  The  best 
encouragement  to  effort  is  found  in  the  hope  of  success.  In 
this  case  that  hope  is  well  founded.  God's  word  and  provi- 
dence both  prove  it.  The  great  mass  of  the  pious  now  on 
earth  is  made  up  of  those,  who  from  childhood  have  been 


8  HOW    TO    BRING    UP    CHILDREN. 

taught  the  ways  of  God.  Many  fooh'sh  things  have,  no 
doubt,  been  said  concerning  the  religious  impressions  of 
children.  Yet  there  have  been  many  well  authenticated 
cases  of  early  piety.  Our  children  cannot  too  soon  begin  to 
live  to  the  glory  of  God.  He,  who  is  old  enough  to  sin 
against  God,  is  old  enough  to  love  God.  Whether  your 
children  shall  be  early  or  late  converted,  yet  if  they  shall 
obtain  salvation  at  all,  they  will  be  kings  and  priests  unto 
God  for  ever  and  ever.  Does  a  sweeter  hope  ever  visit  the 
parental  mind  than  that  of  standing  before  God  in  the  last 
day,  and  saying:  "Behold,  I  and  the  children,  whom  the 
Lord  hath  given  me  ?"  "  A  whole  family  in  heaven"  will 
for  ever  be  matter  of  greater  wonder  and  louder  praise,  than 
can  be  found  in  all  the  works  disclosed  by  microscopes  and 
telescopes  in  the  boundless  dominions  of  God. 

But  if  you  neglect  the  religious  education  of  your  children, 
dreadful  will  be  the  consequences.  "  A  child  left  to  himself 
bringeth  his  mother  to  shame."  Parental  love  is  often  blind 
and  foolish. 

"  A  parent's  heart  may  prove  a  snare ; 
The  child  she  loves  so  well, 
Her  hand  may  lead  with  gentlest  care, 
Down  the  smootli  road  to  hell." 

Trust  not  your  heart.  Trust  God's  word.  Give  not  place 
to  evil  tempers  and  ways  in  yourself  or  your  child.  It  is 
not  many  years  since  a  young  lady  thus  addressed  her 
parents :  "  You  have  been  the  unhappy  instruments  of  my 
being.  You  fostered  me  in  pride,  and  led  me  in  the  paths  of 
sin.  You  never  once  warned  me  of  my  danger,  and  now  it 
is  too  late.  In  a  few  hours  you  will  have  to  cover  me  with 
earth,  but  remember,  while  you  are  casting  earth  upon  my 
bod^,  my  soul  will  be  in  hell,  and  yourselves  the  miserable 
cause."  If  you  would  escape  the  scourges  of  a  guilty  con- 
science, the  reproaches  of  a  lost  child,  and  the  rebukes  of  an 
angry  God,  do  your  duty  to  your  children.  Only  when  the 
heart  of  the  fathers  is  turned  to  the  children,  and  the  heart 
■>f  the  children  to  their  fathers,  may  we  hope  that  God  will 
not  come  and  smite  the  earth  with  a  curse.  As  a  town 
without  walls,  as  a  house  without  a  roof,  as  a  garden  without 
a  hedge,  and  as  sheep  without  a  shepherd,  so  is  a  family, 
whose  thoughts  and  affairs  are  not  moulded  by  the  fear  and 
love  of  God. 

Presbyterian  Board  of  Publication. 


DATE  DUE 

-^  .-„„^_ 

GAYLORD 

PRINTED  IN  US    A. 

